Nuthin' But Net

2010-05-18T12:19:00.001-06:00

'In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language.. And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.'

-Theodore Roosevelt, 1907

Shocker!

2010-04-21T06:41:00.000-06:00

Pikes Peak in the background and the sign is giving the shocker.

So…. Happy…. Right…. Now.

The little girl's face speaks volumes...

2010-04-02T21:37:00.004-06:00

Click photo to see her....

Hash Family!

2010-03-12T15:10:00.001-07:00

Brownie's mom has an imaginary fish. Seriously.

My kind of monkey...

2010-02-27T06:59:00.000-07:00

MOSCOW - A Russian chimpanzee has been sent to rehab by zookeepers to cure the smoking and beer-drinking habits he has picked up, a popular daily reported on Friday. An ex-performer, Zhora became aggressive at his circus and was transferred to a zoo in the southern Russian city of Rostov, where he fathered several baby chimps, learned to draw with markers and picked up his two vices.

"The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze," the Komsomolskaya Pravda paper said.

It added he has now been transferred to the city of Kazan, about 800 km (500 miles) east of Moscow, for rehabilitation treatment.

2010-02-12T10:30:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday, Granny!

I'm Not In Miami, Bitch:

2010-01-30T22:13:00.003-07:00

I lost the Kimchi hash olympics today by 2 points! I just couldn't figure out how to play "schlong golf." That was a bitch.

I'm looking forward to puking all over ESPN in Houston... she is gonna be one stinky bitch.

I'm listening to "In The Air Tonight," Elvis.

Seriously. Have your drum solo down by this weekend, fag.

INXS

2010-01-24T23:43:00.002-07:00

So I'm sure Dara is loving my new writing surge. I'm totally listening to INXS sing "Don't Change" right now and loving it.

Championship Sunday was as good as I hoped.

I can't wait to have fun in the suburb just north of Houston.

Championship Sunday!

2010-01-24T13:51:00.003-07:00

This should be a freakin' holiday. I am so looking forward to these two games. Way more than the Superbowl.

I hope Brett Favre loses horribly. He is a traitor whore.

2010-01-23T14:20:00.001-07:00

What the hell was I talking about last night? Damn, I was bored.

Friday the 22nd... Lakers won by 10 pts!

2010-01-22T23:55:00.004-07:00

So I figured I would use this blog for something it was actually supposed to be used for.... to annoy people with my useless thoughts!

I am in my "office" right now listening to Fleetwood Mac ("You make loving fun") and trying to clean it up. I use the term "office" loosely, as I really keep my PC, books, hash gear and random personal shit in this room. My wife has actually told me that she is scared of this room.....

This room gets out of hand about once every three months and I usually fail to police it. Here I am, listening to the sultry voice of Christine McVie and the guitar of Lindsay Buckingham, trapped in my basement... oh wait, the Foo Fighters just came on! Either way, I should really try to make this room something that my wife isn't scared of.

That is all.

2010-01-02T10:18:00.001-07:00

hAPPY bIRTHDAY!

2009-12-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Donnie! See you in February!

2009-12-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

Novella

2009-12-10T12:42:00.001-07:00

I've been debating whether or not to post the novella on this blog... any thoughts from my non-existent readers?

12-04-09 (Kobe wins it)

2009-12-05T21:15:00.002-07:00

Hitler loves to hash:

2009-11-22T13:41:00.001-07:00

Thanks for the lead, Juicy Pearl.

Thrown Poop!

2009-10-29T10:31:00.000-06:00

Good God.

http://www3.signonsandiego.com/stories/2009/oct/26/bn26mcgowan-sentenced/?metro&zIndex=189494

2009-10-27T14:20:00.004-06:00

It is officially the first day of the NBA season today. I took the day off to watch my Lakers receive their rings tonight before their smackdown of the Clippers.

A few people might be swinging by the house for some Mass Transit Ale (on tap in my basement), chicken wings, chips, salsa and ... that is plentyof reasons.

You heard it here, people... the Lakers will repeat as champions.

2009-09-28T11:24:00.002-06:00

Yes... this is what I have been reduced to. Updating my blog exclusively with videos. Jive ass monkey...

Find more videos like this on HashSpace

2009-09-13T23:11:00.000-06:00

Brownie at Leadville:

2009-08-22T07:55:00.002-06:00

Good luck today, Wanker!

Church = Hash?

2009-08-16T10:53:00.002-06:00

So there I was, listening to the pastor read from the fifth chapter of Ephesians... "Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit..."

I tell you what... I think "G" was a Lutheran with a sick sense of humor.

I'm almost sure of it.

2009-08-04T10:33:00.001-06:00

Find more photos like this on HashSpace

Church songs at the hash!

2009-07-26T11:39:00.003-06:00

So there I am at church this morning... and we all take out the hymnal and start to sing this song entitled, "All Living Things."

It had the same melody as "one black one, one white one, and one with a little shite on... and one with a little light on to show us the way." I swear I almost starting to sing "... and the hares!"

C-4 looked at me as if to say, "You better not."

It was a close one.

2009-07-22T12:31:00.000-06:00

WTF?

2009-07-15T10:55:00.000-06:00

2009-07-10T14:56:00.000-06:00

A five year old boy and his grandpa are sitting on the front porch together, when gramps pull a beer out of his cooler.

The little boy asks: "Can I have a beer Grandpa?" Grandpa replies:
"Can your pecker touch your ass?"The little boy answered: "No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker."Gramps says: "Well then, you're not man enough to have a beer!"

A little later, Grandpa lights up a cigar. The little boy asks:

"Can I have a cigar Grandpa?"Once again, Grandpa asks: "Can your pecker touch your ass?"Once again, the little boy replies: "No, it's too little. Grandpa says, "Then you're not man enough to have a cigar!"

A little later, the little boy comes out of the house with milk and cookies. Grandpa asks:
"Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?"The boy asks: "Can your pecker touch your ass?"Laughing, Gramps replies: "HELL Yes, my pecker can touch my ass!"The little boy replies: "Then go fuck yourself! Grandma made these for me!"

2009 CHAMPS

2009-06-15T00:44:00.002-06:00

Fuck yeah, bitches.

BFE Newsletter XXIII

2009-06-02T12:08:00.000-06:00

1.11 days until BFE, my friends.
2.The grill has been purchased; the kegs stored sleepily under a tarp to keep them cool in my shady garage.
3.The shirts have been ordered, 30 in number, with visions of dung beetles prancing through their threads.
4.The need for donations, $10 precisely, will help support the hash and BFE quite nicely.
5.The Lakers and Kobe, championship hopes alive, will defeat the Orlando Magic in five.
6.Austin hashers, Elvis included, will come and make the On-On ranch polluted.
7.Okay… no more rhyming… next thing you know I’d be shooting for iambic pentameter.
8.Raisin’s party is going to be lively… I told her she should build a giant beach volleyball pit in her back yard for it, but she is a pussy and said no.
9.Got word from the “Wank Family” that they are going to come down for BFE. I’ve heard this song and dance before… we’ll see.
10. Yeast Infection, will you see if Krabs R Us and Pile-On will come down to BFE? I love those damn people.
11. There is a Journey concert at the Red Rocks on July 9th. Just thought everyone should know that.
12. Oh, and bring virgins to the Kimchi hash this Saturday.
13. Knock knock? Who’s there? Poop. Poop who?
14. Poop!

Texts from last night:

2009-05-21T16:23:00.002-06:00

(614): The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Found this website on Tina's (Happy Sock) blog... definitely a new favorite of mine.

Help me... help them.

2009-05-04T12:14:00.002-06:00

Beacuse I care about Africa so much, and because I am such a huge philanthropist, I started a website to help people in Africa in their fight against malaria:

http://www.nothingbutnets.net/

I know, I'm awesome.

-NBN

Texas Interhash 2009 Conspectus

2009-04-21T12:35:00.002-06:00

1. After arriving on Friday, Bob and I wandered about aimlessly looking for our friends and waiting for the keg to be tapped at noon as promised. At about 1:00 PM, after the TXIH GM made us build a tent for next to the beer truck, the first keg was tapped. We then proceeded to play a long and drawn out game of three-man.
2. I think the three-man is what really did me in on Friday. I went from sober to drunk in about a half hour. The Border Jumpers were freakin’ ruthless… all of them liked to gang up on everyone (mostly me) and kill us with drinks. The best made-up rule was having to smack the people next to you on the ass before you could drink. Hilarious.
3. After Donnie and the rest of the Knuckle Draggers showed up, we proceeded to build our tents in the same general area. That was awesome (not). The winds in Texas are something that I don’t miss from my time being stationed at Ft. Hood. Come to think of it, I don’t miss much from that assignment.
4. After Cocktor Spork (Donnie’s little brother) and I built our tent, later named the “Hanna Tanna Tent,” it was back to the main area where everyone was building a fire and drinking beer while waiting for the band to show up.
5. This is when the Border Jumpers decided to unleash their “Giant Goblet” that people could earn. The idea was similar to Tex-Mex Wings in that there was a bunch of stuff to do… the main thing being you had to wear a “Serape” (poncho) while being naked underneath and put on a Mexican wrestling mask and do a lap around the campground. The other thing I remember was letting them write all over you with sharpies. I, of course, was one of the first to earn my goblet… ( If not the actual first… which I think I might have been.) I can't help getting involved in drinking competitions.
6. The weird thing about the Border Jumper goblet was that THEY never had to earn them. Remember all the Kimchi jumping into the pool at Tex-Mex? Doing the “Maracas of Madness”? And the Menorah? WE had to earn the wings too…. The Border Jumpers just made US do all the dumb stuff and watched… I am definitely calling them out on this one. Bob concurs.
7. After that we just hung out around the fire and listened to the band near the stage and drank ridiculous amounts of beer (at least I did). After the band was finished it seemed like there was nothing left to do… but… oh wait… there’s more…
8. The Knuckle Draggers opened their “Palatial Pleasure Palace.” The name is kind of redundant… as only a palace could really be palatial. But that was as far as the redundancy went. Oh boy did we have a good time. There was music and beer and music and beer. Good times were had by all. After getting my drunk on, I went to bed.
9. Saturday started with birds chirping and squirrels doing the nasty outside my tent. I couldn't keep my balance on the army cot and air mattress I brought, so I ended up sleeping in my bag on the floor next to Cocktor Spork all night. I’m pretty sure this contributed to his name… (he was named on Sunday at the Knuckle Dragger circle). I went outside and grabbed my MP3 player and speakers and we all started off with some Journey to get us going.
10. After Piggus, Bob, Nacheaux, Donnie, ESPN, Cocktor Spork and I got our crap together, we headed off to the main area to get some breakfast. We picked up a few Border Jumpers along the way and had to wait in line for about twenty minutes. This was no big deal… I had my MP3 Player/Speakers… which I referred to as my “Mobile Command Center.” This definitely annoyed several hashers in line. I really didn’t care… it was just music.
11. After we ate, we sat on the picnic tables and continued listening to music! The best part is, there were mimosas! Plenty of champagne and OJ to be had by all. I asked Teacher if he wanted to play a game and he was down so I went and grabbed a bottle of champagne and we played “Thunderstruck.” If you don’t know what this game is… you basically find another player and play the ACDC song and every time they say “Thunder” one of you has to drink. It goes back and forth and you really get hosed by the guitar solo parts. Needless to say… a whole bottle of champagne later, Teacher and I were a bit toasty. Did we stop there?
12. NO! Bob was next to us so we decided to play the same game (with a new bottle of champagne) to “Endless Love.” We pretty much made this up and just started drinking to random words like “the” and “you” and “right.” This was a phenomenal game. Stupid as all get out, but so much fun just the same. What can I say, I’m a giant child.
13. In between all the song games, Teacher had set up his Border Jumper haberdashery on a table. He was selling shirts and stickers to all takers. Bob, the heartless bastard that he is, set the Kimchi haberdashery at the next table and was selling some of the leftover BJ shirts that we had from Tex-Mex. This turned out to be hilarious because Bob was like a Super Wal-Mart. He would not be undersold. Instead of price matching, he would sell BJ merchandise for a dollar less than what Teacher would price it at. Funny as hell. (On a side note, Bob sold the hell out of our stuff. Thanks for doing that.)
14. The next thing I remember was the kickball game. I forget who the captains were… all I know is my team lost. We sucked. Donnie was on the other team. He rubbed it in. The end. It was a great game because it wasn’t just Border Jumpers and Kimchi playing, but a giant mixture of hashers from all over Texas.
15. I’m pretty sure I passed out after the kickball game. In fact, it gets a bit fuzzy from here. From then on, I would fall asleep in random places a few times later that day.
16. I remember that Donnie and several others started a croquet game without me… I was probably sleeping. Either way, this turned out to be quite fortuitous as they were getting teams together for hash Olympics! Woo hoo! Stupid games! I love it! A few of us got a team together… Raisin Smuggler chose to be on the Border Jumper team making her the new official “Traitor Wh*re” of the Kimchi hash. I remember that Gaylord was on my team… and Closet Freak…. And Guamerea Balls… and someone else… either way, we won! Guess who came in second? That’s right, the Border Jumpers and traitor wh*re! I remember I had to throw tennis balls into a GIANT bucket from about 15-20 yards away… first with my right hand and then with the left. That was kinda tricky.
17. After lunch there was a bit of a lull… everyone just kind of hung out. Umm, except for me. I decided to go up near the stage and play with the music system. I grabbed a hold of a microphone and decided to have my own “Nuthin’ But Net Karaoke Jam Fest.” Apparently I was making up my own words to songs and just be retarded. Nobody was within fifty yards of me. But you could definitely hear me since I was on the PA system. Sorry about that. I guess most people thought it was pretty funny except for the TXIH GM, Mouthful, who had let me know the day before that she was ”familiar” with the Kimchi and our antics. I guess I proved her right and then some. We should send her a patch or something… maybe to mend fences… she earned it.
18. At some point I also broke the chair I was sitting in as well. I was sleeping in it and it shattered beneath me. Guess I shouldn’t have chugged all that bacon grease in the morning time. Without a place to sleep, I went up and hung out on the stage. I laid down and took a little nap. By myself. On the stage. With no one else around. What a dumb move.
19. This was apparently an open invitation to the Border Jumpers to come screw around with me. They started messing with me and we had a “Royal Rumble” of sorts. There are pictures of my and Cockeye going at it forever. I am proud of the fact that I didn’t spill my beer. Teacher joined in and I was pretty much done after that. They really wore me out.
20. This all proved to be a unifying event because we all ended up on stage and somehow convinced the DJ guy, I forget his name but he was a hasher and was totally awesome, to throw on some songs for us to sing to. We all sang like a bunch of retards but it was a great time. TXIH really proved to be the “Border Jumper Coming Out Party.” They really represented well. Moose Knuckle proved the ultimate hash ambassador.
21. Later on, a band called “Skunk Weed” performed. These guys were great. They really played to the crowd and apparently have a great history with the hashers in Texas. From what I understand, a few of them are named hashers. This all kind of went hand in hand with “Mr. and Mrs. Texas Interhash.” I’ll let Bob and Piggus tell that story… they probably remember it better than I do.
22. Now it is time to get back to the redundantly “palatial” tent… as Gaylord reminded me at the Knuckle Draggers circle, I was a dancing machine. Seriously, automatic and systematic. I was passing out outside the tent…. Then I’d wake up and dance… then pass out inside the tent…. Wake up and dance again… finally I just went up to Knave and laid down next to him on the floor of the tent in the fetal position. It makes sense because he was the DJ. I just wanted to be close to all the music. Gaylord’s pass-out count for me on Saturday was a big number five. I’m proud of that mark. (Side bar: Donnie and his brother Tony had a bet going for $20 that I would pass out outside of my actual tent. Tony said I wouldn’t… so at the end of the night, to win his bet, Tony dragged me to the tent. This was only about twenty feet, but still…)
23. Sunday started off with a bunch of packing that was interrupted by the Knuckle Draggers circle. I was made to drink for… well… being me. Donnie had to drink and the list just keeps going. The main violator was Donnie’s little brother, Just Tony, whose only previous hashing experience was with the Colorado Kimchi hash several years ago. Tony made a name for himself at TXIH, so the obvious next step was to give him a hash name. *drum roll* Henceforth and forever more, he will be known as “Cocktor Spork”! (I think it has something to do with sharing a tent with me and spooning. Sorry dude.)
24. Finally, right before we left, a few of us (Piggus, Bob, Nacheaux, Raisin, McPisser, his brother, Platterpuss, Condoments, Horny Again, et al…) were hanging out around Bob’s truck drinking a few beers and decided to have our own “Kouston” hash… mixture of Kimchi and Houston members… and proceeded to drink a crap-ton of beer. After a bunch of nonsense, we decided that the unused eggs in McPisser’s cooler were fair game to throw at Bob’s truck. Like a true friend, I started the volley off with a nice throw to the shell of the truck. About ten eggs followed. We found a plastic rocking horse nearby in a field and decided to play with it… one thing led to another… and we put McPisser’s brother on it and carried him past Bob’s truck to do a ride-by egging. The guy was due for a name anyways… so he is the first EVER named Kouston hasher…. Henceforth and forever more, he will be known as “Horse-fli Drive-bi.” Perfect end to a great weekend.
25. After I got home, I realized that I had sprained my ankle pretty bad. It has just started to get better in the last week. That was some wrestling match with the Border Jumpers. I had a great time overall... and although I hadn't planned on returning next year... the Knuckle Draggers are hosting it so I am definitely in.

2009-04-02T07:43:00.002-06:00

On On to Texas Interhash 2009! I am leaving at 11:00 Pm tonight! Fuck yeah!

Looking forward to seeing Donnie, ESPN, Piggus, Nacheaux, Gagger and all my other Texas peeps!

Here's to puking on Piggus Dickus! It's what I've been practicing for all these months!

2009-03-29T13:09:00.000-06:00

2009-03-17T11:21:00.004-06:00

Happy St. Patty's day everyone. I'll be driving back to Colorado with my mom all day today and through the night tonight, but make sure to puke on Brownie for me.

-NBN

Wanky Shit Monster

2009-03-10T11:48:00.001-06:00

Got this from Nacheaux...

Just wrong.

But as a Kimchi, oh so right.

http://rathergood.com/demon

Snuggie Pub Crawl?

2009-03-07T07:57:00.001-07:00

Got this from @ss Gagger... what is the world coming to?

"Oh. My. God, Becky.

Check it out Net. Snuggies are coming to Denver......and Austin.

http://www.snuggiepubcrawl.com/Locations/Denver/

@ss Gagger"

2009-03-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Lakers! Fuck yeah!

2009-02-27T14:15:00.003-07:00

Bob and I are off to see the Lakers beat the crap out of the Nuggets tonight! Look for the chubby dudes in Lakers jerseys on TV!

This is part of a back to back... they beat the Suns in LA last night... so hopefully the overnight travel and altitude don't screw with them too bad.

Either way, GO LAKERS!

And then there was puke...

2009-02-22T10:37:00.006-07:00

Well my friends, the gauntlet seems to have been thrown down. In preparatory form for TXIH 2009, I puked on another human being for my first time yesterday. I've puked on a dog before, and that poor British Bulldog actually died two week later, but that is a different story for a different time. Ask me about it later though...

Having spoken so enthusiastically about puking on Piggus Dickus at TXIH 2009, I decided to have a trial run on Brownie at yesterday's Pikes Peak hash. I got him once at the beer stop and then performed a live reenactment at circle. For what it's worth, both times were Brownie's idea and he actually posed for the occasion (lifting his shirt and holding his stomach out no less).

So it looks like Piggus Dickus should watch out... apparently I'm gunning for you.

Found these on global trash:

2009-02-19T10:29:00.000-07:00

Q: What is the difference between a harriette and a bowling ball?

A: You can only get three fingers into a bowling ball.

______________________________________________________

Dear Hare Doktor,I have really screwed up this time. I had sex with a harriette at a recent interhash. Unfortunately I used the L uh Lo uh, hell you know the word Dok! How do I get out of this? She's a local andwon't leave me alone at the hash. I swear she looked better after a few beers. I mean I don't want to hurt her feelings Dok, but she's a real dog. Short of leaving the hash, I don't know what to do.

Fucked

Dear Fucked,
As I see it, you can do several things in order of the right thing to do, to the hasher thing to do:
1. You can be honest and tell her the truth about how you feel about her. But, being a half-mind, I doubt you can handle that.
2. You can find another harriette you are fond of and hang with her. Hopefully the smitten lady will get the message (or it could backfire and make her pursuit worse).
3. You can stay drunk all the time. I mean, you are getting laid, so what is your problem?

Hare Doktor
(Published in Hashlist/GT Issue 32)

Kimchi Interhash 2010?

2009-02-17T11:20:00.002-07:00

1. Should we do it?
2. Should it be a campout?
3. Should it be on a holiday weekend or is Friday and Saturday enough?
4. Should we cap out the regos at something around 30-50 or would it be better if it had more people?
5. Should we be going for medium distance trails, decent beer, drinking games and juvenille fun?
6. Should we have midget wrestling?
7. Should we try to keep the rego cost super low?
8. I'm going to throw up all over Piggus Dickus at TXIH 2009.

TXIH 2009!

2009-02-08T13:40:00.003-07:00

I have not blogged recently because of the build up and aftermath of Tex-Mex '09... what a freakin' process that was. With all the schwag that we produced for the trip, all the crap we had to bring and the ordeal of getting 16 Kimchi hashers to El Paso, it really took a bunch of time and planning.

But now! There is an event on the horizon! An event that I don't have to do anything for! An even where I get to see my best pal Donnie the Retard and we can just try to drink the whole event out of alcohol! An even where I am going to throw up all over Piggus Dickus!

I am of course talking about Texas Interhash 2009! Fuck yeah!

Who is with me? April 3-5?

Farts:

2009-01-09T20:22:00.001-07:00

My farts are so bad right now that htey are making me leave the room I'm in and find something else to do in another room of my house.

Just thought everyone should know that.

The Snuggie!

2009-01-02T13:49:00.004-07:00

This freakin' infomercial has my three year old daughter believing that it is the only thing that can keep her warm. She wants one for Christmas... yes, I know, Christmas was like a week ago... but for NEXT Christmas. Everytime it comes on, during cartoons, she comes to get me or C-4 and has to tell us how warm it keeps people.

Damn you, television.

The worst part is the family wearing this weird Jedi robe during a sporting event... what the hell? Wear a jacket you ass-clowns.

Menorah!

2008-12-21T11:53:00.000-07:00

IAH 2009!

2008-12-08T11:41:00.003-07:00

Just so everyone knows, I registered for the Inter Americas Hash 2009 this morning!

Fuck yeah! I only count a few Kimchi going so far.... this includes a few that are definitely not Kimchi in my opinion... you know who you are.

So why don't the rest of you pussies sign up?

Donnie?
ESPN?
Brownie?
Teacher?
Granny?
Crying Game?
Bicycle Bleeder?
MILF?

Even Brown Pussy is registered! Geez! There are only 150 spots left... so you guys better hurry up?

Stole this from Squeef's Hash Space Page...

2008-11-30T12:24:00.001-07:00

Click to enlarge... then crack up accordingly.

Hashing on TV?

2008-11-21T12:45:00.001-07:00

http://video.msn.com/video.aspx/?mkt=en-us&from=metadatawidget_en-us_health_department&vid=d1e22cee-7cab-4030-9cd7-ed4a70954fc8&wa=wsignin1.0

Tex-Mex Shirts:

2008-11-14T10:34:00.003-07:00

The Kimchi hash just made our largest shirt purchase EVER. Fifty shirts is a big investment for such a small group. I'm glad all you chumps out there are gonna buy them so we can keep the lights on... and by lights, of course I mean beer.

Also, for the first time ever, we'll be offering women's sizes. I know I've said it before, but I feel like we're opening a Ross or something.

Got this from Bob:

2008-11-14T10:14:00.002-07:00

My boy:

2008-11-09T23:04:00.000-07:00

Fuck yeah!

2008-11-09T14:51:00.002-07:00

Here'e the list for Tex-Mex SO FAR... looks like an all-star team of my favorite party hashers.

It is on come MLK weekend...

doctor anus........albuquerque h3
charlotte the harlot.........jhavelina h3scrum
muffin.........gypsies h3
kitty fucker........albuquerque h3
baby g........albuquerque h3
cpa..............albuquerque h3l
ittle ring riding hood.......dfw h3
master meat finder........jhavalena h3
glamour gams........sf h3
all shaft no head.........heart of texas h3
portajohn..........el paso h3
bi da numbers.......el paso h3
Hose Handler........El Paso H3
fuck it ill do it.............corpus christy
klingon uranus............SAH3
just charlie...............el paso
fuck u knave.........knuckledraggers
@ss gagger..........austin h3
nuthin but net.............ck h3
c-4.............................ck h3
brownie......................ck h3
wheeler squeller.............ck h3
stump fluffer................SAh3
yellow rose of texas.............dallas h3
lost her pussy.....................horses ass h3
up the ass...........................horses ass h3
ass spelunker...................dc road whores h3
pick a hole.......................bj h3
espn.................................ck h3
donnie the retard...............ck h3
light up my penis.............denver
late nite drive thrute-killya titsguamarea ballsis
it in yet.............jhavelina h3
sperm crawler..........ft collins h3
cock eye..................bj
just scott..................bj
butt darts.................bj
boobalicious............bj
tub slut....................new york h3
head eunuch.............ft collins
wet spot..................ft worth h3
petite boute.....................oc h3
dock cock....................abq h3
ranger smurf.............bal h3
h.m. ho....................texhoma h3
international virgin...........chicago h3
just laid.....................other Orlando
my teacher made me cum..........border jumpers
piggas dickus...................ventura county h3
balls in hand......................el paso h3
asshole in el paso............jhavelina h3iva.....................................other orlando h3wet & dry..........................houston h3
high beams.......................austin h3
tonka butt.....................pikes peak h3
meat gazer...................pikes peak h3
no girth............................pikes peak h3
tits on the ritz...................ck h3
daddy's big load..............dfw h3

New Logo?

2008-11-09T14:31:00.000-07:00

2008-11-03T08:34:00.001-07:00

Get Your Countdown

Carter = Obama

2008-10-29T09:53:00.001-06:00

Best Interview EVER!

2008-10-27T08:43:00.000-06:00

Kimchi fake baseball:

2008-10-22T09:16:00.001-06:00

Brownie just blew a save in game one of the World Series.

Fag.

Snow:

2008-10-22T09:01:00.001-06:00

1. It is on the ground this morning.

2. It means I have to cut down my garden.

3. Global warming my ass. It isn't even Halloween yet.

Guess what I did this morning...

2008-10-20T10:38:00.002-06:00

1. Great speech this morning.

2. They played Journey at the rally.

3. She's even hotter in person.

4. Fuck Yeah! Go McCain!

Sound Advice:

2008-10-19T22:56:00.000-06:00

1. If you had purchased $1,000 worth of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 worth of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 worth of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, and then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have $214.00 today. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and to recycle. It could be called the 401-Keg Plan.

2. In my most recent study I found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year and drinks about 12 gallons of beer. Therefore, on average, Americans get about 75 miles to the gallon. So the idea is to drink beer and walk whenever possible. This will keep more of the US money in the US, aid in lowering air pollutants and bolster the sagging agricultural industry.

Fuck Yeah!

2008-10-08T10:13:00.001-06:00

http://view.break.com/577249 - Watch more free videos

WTF is wrong with these people?

2008-09-30T12:55:00.003-06:00

CU vs OSU (NOV 15th)

2008-09-20T20:33:00.002-06:00

I have two spots left open in my truck for the CU Buffs game on November 15th. Bob and I will be leaving the Springs at 9:00 AM to pick up Donnie at DIA and then we are headed straight to Boulder for some tailgating. If you score yourself a ticket, join us!

Too bad for the Mountainqueers!

2008-09-19T12:11:00.001-06:00

17-14 (OT)

Hey Granny.... your mom!

Hooah?

2008-09-12T15:44:00.001-06:00

My mom brought over a picture of me in my Army days.

No "I":

2008-09-09T21:43:00.002-06:00

Looks like I am going to have to make several trips to this place in the next few months... anyone ever been to DU? Specifically the library?

F*ck Yeah!

2008-08-26T23:16:00.002-06:00

Look what I finally acquired today!

KILL ME!

2008-08-26T21:40:00.003-06:00

I am in a class right now.... It won't end. Kill me.

At least it is in a computer lab tonight, right?

Hmmmm... Is it Thursday yet?

Bad hippie. Bad!

2008-08-26T09:27:00.001-06:00

I don't think anything like this would have happened at the RNC in the Twin Cities. Why can't you lefties play nice?

Olympics

2008-08-22T08:19:00.001-06:00

MUI IMPORTANTE

2008-08-18T22:55:00.003-06:00

Everyone, especially Not So Silent Bob, read this! Due to the hippie DNC party in Denver on August 28th (the same night as the MOPP hash before Invihash), the Secret Service will be shutting down I-25 within five miles of Invesco Field at "around 5:30 PM."

Don't let this make you late to the MOPP prelube! Also, tell your friends in Denver... (yeah right, as if people who live in this state want to come to a Kimchi hash....).

I just don't want anyone stuck on I-25 when they could be getting shitty with us in Manitou Springs! And for all you liberals out there... you'll just be trading one hippie party in for an even better one (since we're hashing in Manitou).

2008-08-16T11:29:00.001-06:00

Gagger finally sent me the patches she owed me! Woo hoo! Thanks!

Olympdicks

2008-08-15T23:04:00.001-06:00

Hey Brownie, Phelps just won the 100M fly, but didn't break the world record.

He must have stopped taking steroids for that one race.... *barf*

2008-08-15T10:31:00.001-06:00

FILLVADA

2008-07-22T09:00:00.004-06:00

Click to enlarge picture

What: CKH3 #134 (Fillvada Challenge)

When: Saturday, August 2nd at 2:00 PM

Where: Robin Hood Lounge, 2830 N Nevada Ave in Colorado Springs

Hares: Mismanagement

Why? It is the sixth Kimchi analversary! Come on out for another epic pub crawl that will be similar to last year's Platte Road Challenge! Ten beer stops in 1.8 miles!

Bring: Enough money to pay your way through a ten stop pub crawl.

Directions: Take the Fillmore exit off of I-25 and head east (away from the mountains). Make a right on Nevada and Robin Hood is on your right about one block up.

Update! 7-14-08

2008-07-14T10:10:00.004-06:00

1. A bunch of the Kimchi hash went to a Journey concert on July 9th. It was awesome! Even though it wasn't Steve Perry up front, his replacement is some guy from the Philippines who sounds just like him! Not So Silent Bob even thought he sounded better than Steve Perry. We snuck in a bunch of booze... which I am so proud of. We purchased a box of wine and took the bladder out of the box. Then we put it into the bottom of Bicycle Bleeder's purse. It just looked like the bottom of a purse because it fit the form of it! Brilliant! We also snuck in a liter bottle of Captain Morgan's rum.... by duct taping it to my leg! (There must be so much room because I am hung like a hamster...)

2. I finalized the Kimchi tab order this morning. Everyone should be able to purchase their tabs for about $6 (for all three and the CKH3 patch). The plan is to have them by the August 2nd analversary... but the guy said it would be too close to call.

3. Brownie finished Hardrock! Mad props!

4. Poop.

2girls1cup

2008-07-07T12:14:00.001-06:00

Why aren't certain people on this list?

2008-07-03T09:01:00.002-06:00

Latest On Who's Cuming...Rego # Hash Name Home Hash
1 Hand Job Pikes Peak H4
2 Erection Master Pikes Peak H4
3 Shit Happens Happy Heritics
4 Shit Happens Next Wife Happy Heritics
5 Blacks On Blondes (BOB) Jax Beach FL
6 keepsITup Pikes Peak
7 Damn Little Pikes Peak
8 Nuts In The Way Denver
9 Dr. Doo-Doo SOB H17
10 Wee Little Bit Atlanta HHH
11 Short Dick @ Law Denver H3
12 Rosebud Denver H3
13 GreenPiece Denver H3
14 Father Syphilis Austin H3
15 Oops Atlanta Black Sheep
16 Deposit Slit Atlanta Black Sheep
17 Grit in Her Slit P2H4
18 Midnight Stroker PPHH
19 The Shaft Pikes Peak
20 Kitty Fucker P2H4
21 Flamin' Gamin' Beaver Cleaver Albuquerque
22 Glitoris Pikes Peak P2H4
23 Unfuckable P2 H4
24 Heavin' Semen Austin H3
25 Beaver Cleaver Austin
26 Butt Chug Pikes Peak H3
27 Pyro Denver H3
28 Spitz.cum DenverH3
29 Dairy Godmother P2H4
30 Flying Burito Mt. Vernon HHH
31 Weasel in the Hole Pikes Peak HHH
32 Granny Boulders Mt. Vernon HHH
33 Raggedy Anus Denver H3
34 XI Year Bitch Denver H3
35 Chucky Cheeks P2 H4
36 Allnighter P2 H4
37 Bone Blower Pikes Peak H3
38 BILDO BAGGINS FORT WORTH
39 Pi Whole Big Hump H3
40 Quality Asshole Pikes Peak H4
41 Full Service Pikes Peak H4
42 Roll Model Houston H3
43 Pound Puppy Houston H3
44 Two Lips Denver
45 Ultrawimp Denver
46 Tits Ahoy Long Beach H3
47 Ewe Fucker DFWH3
48 Little Head Denver H3
49 Pays for Bus(c)h Fort Collins
50 Pylon Fort Collins
51 Krabs'R Us Fort Collins
52 Fire in the Hole P2 H4
53 Big Gulp Dallas H3
54 Sizzlean Colorado Springs H3
55 Sizzlean-Friend Colorado Springs H3
56 Slip it in her DFWH3
57 Wet Spot Brenham H3
58 Up The Ass Oklahoma City Wild Wild West H3
59 Lost Her Pussy Oklahoma City Wild Wild West H3
60 Pork Me Now Dallas H3
61 Hog Straddler Dallas H3
62 Knees Up Denver H3
63 Triple Tongue Denver H3
64 Knee Deep in Brown Stuff Denver H3
65 Salt Lick Titties White House H3
66 I Do Do Do Do Do Do Boulder
67 Stupid Piece of Shit Boulder
68 Lowlife Denver H3
69 Free Bus(c)h Fort Collins
70 8 Yellow Snow Bandito H3
71 Blow Up Doll Bandito H3
72 Pig Pimp Boulder Flatlanders
73 Meat Gazer PPHH
74 No Girth Pikes Peak H4
75 Bumper Humper Denver H3
76 Pump Me Harder Denver H3
77 Yeast Infection
78 brownie Colorado Kimchi H3
79 CPA Albuquerque H3
80 Gangbanger Randsburg H3
81 Pooper Scooper Minneapolis H3
82 Rin Tin Tits Boulder H3
83 ate something shocking tornad alley, wichita,ks
84 Ganjaman Ventura H3
85 Follow the Bleeder White House H3
86 Bella Cuci P2H4
87 Tonka Butt Pikes Peak H4
88 Beaver Breath Fort Worth H3
89 RooDog Newcastle Full Moon
90 Eat A Blooby Bitch Sin City H3
91 No Dick Pikes Peak
92 Whoreo Austin H3
93 Bubbles The Sad Beer Clown Austin H3
94 Service My Tool Wheelhopper H3
95 Primer Atlanta H4
96 Speedbump Denver H3
98 Fluffer SCH4
99 Public Enema Atlanta H4
100 Unalicker
101 WestWank Denver
102 Spermes Boulder Flatlanders
103 Clit Eats Wood
104 Nacheaux Ass Dallas H3
105 Bad Ditch White House H3
106 Chinwacker Denver H3
107 Tampon Drizzle Minneapolis H3
108 SKA 1
109 SKA2
110 ESPN CKH3
111 Donnie the Retard CKH3
112 Nuthin' But Net Colorado Kimchi H3
113 Horny Hooker DFW H3
114 Crack Climber Somewhere in Colorado. I like the DIM hash
115 Butt Sucker Denver H3
116 Happy Sock CO Kimchi H3
117 Nappy Headed WHORE Pikes Peak
118 SOOEY DALLAS
119 Wong Wey P2H4
120 Batguano Man San Antonio Hash House Harriers
121 Dick the Boy Wonder Texas Crab Hash
122 Cum Scout Denver H3
123 Rear Ejection Boulder H3
124 Roach Motel Boulder H3
125 Up On Blocks Pikes Peak H4
126 Latecomer Pikes Peak H4

2008-06-30T10:39:00.000-06:00

Nom Nom Nom

2008-06-20T12:38:00.004-06:00

Vet at Obama rally:

2008-06-18T09:03:00.000-06:00

DUI Test

2008-06-18T08:44:00.001-06:00

Lakers lose...

2008-06-18T08:43:00.000-06:00

Yes, I know the Lakers lost. Hopefully they'll do better next year.

So sad...

2008-06-10T10:43:00.001-06:00

After talking to my T-shirt guy, Todd, I am sorry to say that the screens for the last two shirts were thrown away. Sorry folks.

Next time, I'll get a few extra smalls and mediums for the little chicas.

YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF ......

2008-06-09T10:33:00.000-06:00

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've even had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

Delaware?

2008-06-03T08:57:00.004-06:00

Imagine yourself being whisked away to the magical wonderland of ... Omaha. I'm in Omaha.

I'll be here on family business for a few days before returning to the Springs. Being on the road for several hours gave me the opportunity to reflect on how much I traumatize you all with my scrotum exposure. I'm going to go ahead and try to limit that from now on. I can't promise it will never happen, but I'll try to reduce it for sure.

If I do it in the future, just discreetly whisper in my ear, "Hey, Net, you said you'd stop showing your balls." Then I'll probably go, "Oh yeah," and put them away without pause.

In other news, from what I can remember, I had fun at BFE. As respectable Kimchi, as if there were such a thing, we should probably stop looking forward to terrorizing the On On Ranch every year and come up with an event of our own. The Pikes Peakers probably want their event back, and I think we're just keeping Lip Lock Me and Humidor from seeing all their old friends every year, which sucks for them. The funny part is I think we'd have an identical event at some camp site somewhere and call it "K-BFE" or something. MILF and I have been kicking around the idea and I'm sure we'll just have to discuss it with the next GM to make it happen.

Okay, I have to go poop now. Seriously.

2008-05-30T09:05:00.002-06:00

Wish you could make it to BFE, Granny! You'll be there! Not literally, of course. You know, on a stick!

What?

2008-05-30T07:50:00.000-06:00

The Lakers are going to the finals! What, what? Laker butt.

Retard:

2008-05-29T10:46:00.001-06:00

The ugly chick on the right will be on the ground in 5 hours and 18 minutes....

Gotta love that BFE time of year.

GRANNY!

2008-05-29T10:41:00.002-06:00

June 27-28.... Granny will be here hashing with us. MOPP on that Friday, Pikes Peak hash on that Saturday.... you all know the deal.

Shall:

2008-05-29T00:27:00.003-06:00

"I have been relieved by GSM2 XXXXX XXXXXXX, who should be forwarded all questions and emails to him. His email is XXXXXXX@navy.mil and phone is (719) XXXXXXX. If this is an emergency please call the CDO at (719) XXXXXXX. I shall still be around until XXXX 2008, before leaving to report to Afghanistan."

Got this auto-reply from Bloody Z today via email. I'm gonna miss his strange online vernacular.

The best part? An attempt at the modern use of "shall." Makes me wanna read Lord Byron or something.

What, what?

2008-05-28T09:43:00.004-06:00

The Lakers are one win away from the NBA Finals... I hope they can do it. Game 5 is Thursday night after the MOPP hash.

Why Kobe is awesome:

2008-05-26T07:41:00.000-06:00

Feels like BFE time...

2008-05-23T09:34:00.001-06:00

C-4 driving her '63 for the first time!

2008-05-22T00:33:00.000-06:00

Is everyone ready?

2008-05-21T11:53:00.000-06:00

In response to Donnie's list:

2008-05-19T09:52:00.002-06:00

Beer. [I'm ordering the DOS XX today]

Beer Pong Table [I have this covered]

Boom Box (I don't have one [broken] so can someone bring one?)

Music. We haven't decided on a special BFE artist. [Why not Journey or Motley Crue?]

Happy Coats [duh]

Brass Monkey parts (40's and OJ) [Lincoln, can you cover these?]

Water Balloon Launcher and balloons [Donnie, you covering these?]

Cash to pay our lovely hosts although I can't remember the price (don'tworry it's a steal) [only $10 for the whole weekend]

Poker Chips and Cards [I have this covered]

Poker Table [I have this covered]

New Kimchi shirts [duh]

Gatorade [I have this covered]

Emergen-C [I have this covered]

Beer Pong regulation cups [I have this covered]

Water [I have this covered]

WCF:

2008-05-17T08:45:00.002-06:00

With last night's victory against Utah, the Lakers will be advancing to the Western Conference Finals for the first time since 2004. Woo hoo!